On Being of “Mixed-Race”

“What ARE you?”

I’ve been asked this question a LOT throughout my life. I used to respond with something along the lines of “I’m all mixed up. I’m a mutt. My people got around.” Or simply. “I’m American. I’m human.”…and all of these are in a way, true.

Recently I heard someone talk about having had similar experiences, and that being cut off from her cultural roots, not identifying strongly with a single region or people, plus being of mixed descent, always made answering such questions a bit tricky. Until someone who had asked her this (a foreigner, interestingly enough), told her “No. don’t say that. You are not all mixed up. You carry the history of several different races, cultures, lineages, and experiences in your blood. That’s who you are. Make your #ancestors proud. They endured and sacrificed for YOU. Know who you are and where you come from. Learn their stories. You aren’t all mixed up. You are diversity embodied. You are lucky. You’ve been given a gift.”

That statement was beautiful to me, and hearing it was a game changer. It changed the way I saw myself. I always struggled with reconciling something within me that was very difficult to define or put my finger on, but felt akin to this: how can I be at peace with myself when I am the product of “both sides?”. How do I feel ok knowing I am here not only as the result of #love, passion, and resilience, but also hate, violence, trauma, and oppression? How do I love myself when I feel down to my core, the imprint of “both” sides? And i can understand and empathize with each/all? The hopes, dreams, fears-(sheer terror sometimes), and prejudices of ALL my ancestors are ingrained within my DNA. Their sufferings and triumphs are all contained within this one humble womb. And this is something no one ever talks about. It can make a #woman feel isolated and disconnected. Hearing just one person give voice to it, proved that I’m not the only one who has felt this way, and that connection, that empathy that was generated, was very healing. I’m grateful to whomever it was that had the courage to speak their truth and experience in a way that enabled me to find it. I’m grateful to the individual who told her to embrace ALL the beautiful heritages she was fortunate enough to embody. I can’t remember who or where I heard it, but it stuck with me. And the more I sit with it, the more empowering it becomes….

I am dark and I am light. I am deserts and oceans and forests. I am native and foreign. Adventurer and refugee. Conquerer and conquered. Strong and weak. Right and wrong.

I am nothing, and I am everything. 🌀

And every day, in every moment, I have a choice.

At the end of the day, I wouldn’t want to be anyone or anything else. ☀️🌙

When Vulnerability Hurts

Continuing on the theme of vulnerability and the lessons contained within:

Once upon a time I was talking to a person who had a large amount of “followers”. I was telling them that sometimes I was unsure of my path/actions, but that I DID know I wanted to do everything in my power to bring people closer to the Goddess/Nature, (aka-their truest selves), and to do so in ways that were authentic and organic. In short, to walk to the walk not just talk the talk, and to lead by example, despite knowing my own lifestyle could always do with some fine tuning (Virgo here🙋🏽‍♀️)…. I explained that I had been going through some personal struggles and battling some shadow dragons, so to speak, and that it was difficult for me, but that through it, through watching me fumble and error and cry…I felt I had broadened not just my own awareness, but had actually opened the mind a bit of someone I cared deeply about, and that THAT, in itself, made any challenges I had been facing worth it.

The person responded by saying, “You say you want to be a leader and to teach people. I have thousands of followers. I’ve taught thousands of people. Who have you taught? Nobody. Who follows you? No one. You’re nobody.”

To say I was shocked is an understatement. I had confided my feelings in trust and the belief we shared a mutual respect. This response to my vulnerability, and to my peace with it, the ability to see the gift contained within, seemed completely unjustified, unprovoked, and out of left field. More than that, it hurt. Not because there was any truth to the statement, but because of the malice and competitive comparison contained in the delivery. It was as though i had said something to personally attack this individual.

After the initial slapintheface sting of that reply, I immediately thought “that’s right. I AM nobody! I have for a long time felt there is freedom in that. Liberation. A sense of the lifting of pressure. I love being no one, because in making peace with that, I simultaneously see I am everyone. Just another example of how nothing is black and white for me and I don’t really ever want it to be. You ask me who I’ve taught. I’d like to think I teach my husband, my children, my family, and my dear friends every day. That I am able to teach them as much as I learn from them. It is a two way street. We teach and learn from each other, from being in relationship and connection with one another. From trial and error and acceptance. These are the people I care most about, so I could give a fuck if they are the only ones I ever have an impact on, so long as I feel in my heart it is a valuable one. One rooted in love”.

I didn’t say any of that though. Actually I didn’t say anything. Finally the person sputtered a sort of an apology saying something like “I’m sorry. It just pisses me off because you talk like you want to do something but you aren’t actually DOING anything.”

I don’t remember what I said back. Something pleasing and polite I’m sure, but I was over the conversation. Right then I swore to myself I would never fall into that trap. I would try my hardest to always maintain sight of what was really important and I would never stake my sense of self worth on outside sources or opinions ever again, (far easier said than done, btw), especially when it came to the social media arena.

I saw the desperation, shame, and hypocrisy of the world at large laid out clearly before me. The desire to keep women small. To cut them down to size, to make them dependent on outside approval. To make us feel like we must be “productive”, we must be “doing” something in order to be worthy, to be valuable, instead of simply BEING, and being content with our own inherent divinity, as flawed as we may perceive ourselves and each other to be from time to time. It’s about the ability to find joy and gratitude in the midst of imperfection. Otherwise I can almost guarantee your life is always gonna suck.

I knew right then I had nothing I needed to prove. I was enough. My life, as it is, is enough. And I saw this persons own illusions and demons coming at me full force. Frightening yet enlightening.

In that moment, I knew in a very visceral way that the numbers, the brand, the carefully cultivated image, have NOTHING to do with a persons inner state of being, and that the best way to assertion THAT is to allow yourself to be authentic and vulnerable and true to your own heart, as much as is humanly possible. Even if you are disappointed with what’s behind the facade, you become wiser, and ultimately, more wholehearted because of it.

Vulnerability in Parenting

#vulnerability in #parenting : one of the most uncomfortable and rewarding experiences I’ve had with #mayladrew occurred last week, when she had her first ever #dance class. Because we #homeschool , I knew I needed to give her the opportunity to socialize with other kids her age and I also wanted to start building the foundation of body awareness, balance, and flexibility. I gave her the choice between martial arts, dance, and gymnastics. To my delight, she chose dance.

This was months ago and for the past few weeks I’ve been reminding her that “you’re gonna start dance soon”, because I knew she was nervous about it. The night of her first class found her sobbing as we got her dressed, she didn’t want to go. I explained it was part of school and part of the growing experience. I reminded her she had chosen this activity for herself. She wasn’t convinced.

She was still crying when we arrived at the studio, and when the class began, she refused to enter. She was terrified. Her crying was echoing through the whole building. I tried all the fail-proof bribes: Ice-cream and a movie after. She wasn’t buying it. Nothing could convince her to enter the studio with the other girls.

To say it was heartbreaking to witness is an understatement. A half hour and many tears later, Andrew was ready to throw in the towel. I myself was on the verge of tears. Not only because this was my own beloved child, but because I saw, and felt, myself in her.

I was exactly the same way as a kid. Exactly. The. Same.

I knew what she was going through. I felt that inexplicable fear of trying something new, of jumping into the unknown, as if I were reliving my own childhood.

Luckily, it was my #mother who saved the day. She wasn’t with us, but she had taught me a very important lesson when I myself was a wee lass.

Except my experience had involved my very first soccer practice. My best friend, who was supposed to be doing it with me, had been unable to make the first practice. I knew no one. I was a painfully shy child and I was petrified. I got to the field, realized @jmportolese wasn’t going to be there, and completely broke down. I said I was sick. Mom assured me I was not. I said my ankle was injured and that I couldn’t run. Mom said if that were the case we needed to go to the doctor.

I said “Ok!”

That’s when she knew the severity of my fear. I hated going to the doctor. (Still do).

Long story short, she made me stay and participate. She told me that she knew I was scared, but she also knew I was capable. Not of being a stellar soccer player, but capable of being brave and trying new things. She said if I quite before I even started, I would never know how much fun I could have. I would never have the chance to make new friends, or learn new things.

She’s told me this story like a thousand times. She says it was one of the hardest things she ever had to do as a parent, and that she wasn’t sure until the end, when I ran back to her smiling and totally proud and excited about what I had just done, that she had made the right choice. She says she had never felt so unsure about her parenting or so judged by the other parents. But deep down she knew, if she let me take the easy way out, she would essentially be crippling me for life. I would never want to try anything new. I would never be willing to open myself up to new experiences.

I’ve heard this story so many times, I usually do a little internal eye roll when it comes up in convo. But not last week. I clung to it like I lifeline. I knew it was my turn, and that three generations of women had now come full circle. I knew we couldn’t throw in the towel and go home.

Taking a deep breath I asked Mayla to hold my hands and take a few deep breaths with me. This got her crying under control but she was still sniffling. I told her “I have a secret to tell you. Do you want to hear it?”

“Yes.” She whimpered. I leaned in close and whispered, “I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way when I was a kid.” And I told her the story my #mama told me so many times. I told her about how because Nana didn’t give up on me, because she knew I could do it and made me try, I had so much fun that I continued to play soccer all the way from elementary school through high school. Because Nana didn’t let me quit when fear came knocking, I became so much braver and more courageous. And that now I was going to teach her the same thing.

Lo and behold, where ice cream and movies nights failed, honesty, vulnerability, and grandmothers wisdom won out. She agreed to go in and watch if I sat in the doorway with her. After watching the other girls run through a few drills, I could tell she was itching to try it all herself. When the teacher came over and gave her a little star to stand on in the corner next to me, so that she could do the drills with the rest of the class while remaining near, I could feel her excitement. She became super focused on the instructor and copied everything the class was doing with ease. When it was time for the class to put their ‘stars’ away, they all ran to the far side of the room to return them to the teachers duffel bag. Mayla glanced back at me and I gave her a smile, a thumbs up, and told her “Go ahead baby! I’m so proud of you! I’m gonna step out and shut the door so I can go tell Daddy and Ellie to come and watch you, but I’ll be right here on the other side of the glass if you need me.”

That was it. She jumped right into the rest of the group and had the time of her life. When the class was over, she came out with the biggest grin and the first thing out of her mouth was “I can’t WAIT to come back to dance class!” Full circle indeed.

After, I called my mama to say “Thank you. I know now how excruciatingly hard that must have been for you to get me to try soccer practice. I get it now. If you still have any lingering doubts about how you handled that situation, please know you made the right choice. I would not have been able to be there for Mayla if you hadn’t been there for me. We made it through because of you. You were there for both of us.”

Mayla had her second class last night. My mom came to watch. As soon as the studio door opened, Mayla was the first one to rush in, without a backwards glance. The huge smile on her face as she hopped and skipped across the floor made me feel so grateful, so humbled, so proud of my brave girl, so blessed by my own strong mommy and her powerful mother’s intuition.

It was love in motion.

Have You Heard The Calling?

Experiencing The Calling for Yourself can be both a wondrous and somewhat frightening time.

It can be liberating to finally accept an aspect of yourself you may have previously denied, to hear the voices of forces speaking you may have formerly been unaware of. And it may be the case that after the initial high of “coming home”, you are left wondering, “What now?”.

Follow your heart.

What is speaking to you the most? What is pulling on your heartstrings? Follow that thread.

Read, research, but more than anything, get out and practice. 

Meditate.— its not all crystal balls and tarot cards. Meditation is the foundation of all real magic you hope to achieve. End of story.

Oh and another thing, you can’t be a witch of any kind if you are cut off from the natural world. Get. The. Fuck. Outside.

Every day.

Nature is the root of it all. The wild world we live in is our greatest guide and teacher. And She wants to help us. She is dying for us to hear her calls and listen to her whispered teachings. Through Nature, (of which we are very much a part), we begin to understand some of the more comprehensible workings of the Cosmos. Of our own bodies and Spirit.

As above, so below.

Remember, Witchcraft is not a hobby, it’s not a trend, a fashion statement, or a branding aesthetic.

Witchcraft is an art that has been practiced, judged, demonized, misunderstood, protected, and passed on openly and in secret, for hundreds of years.

This is not a frivolous plaything you’ll want to toy with.

This is serious. It is powerful. It is not always fun. The journey not always pleasant. Thus, it is not for those who fear change or discomfort, but for those who understand that all things move in cycles, come and go in seasons, and exist in a constant state of flux. It is for those who have the courage and determination to meet every season of life with an open heart and willingness to learn from each experience, whether personal perspective labels said experiences as “good” or “bad”.

It is not for the feint hearted, by any means.

Untold numbers of people have died to protect, preserve, and pass on these teachings. People around the globe continue to be ostracized or worse, for claiming and exercising their innate power.

Their sacrifice is a part of our legacy.

Your ancestors embedded these seeds deep within your blood. It’s in your DNA. And if you feel the stirring in your blood and a humming in your bones, it is because you are being called. You are being chosen as much as you are making the choice.

We have a sacred duty and responsibility to God/dess, Great Spirit, The Great Mystery, The All, Universe…that unnamable force that brings all things into existence, to be the magical beings we are. To heal. To restore balance.

Not to have power over the masculine, but to bring it back into harmony with the feminine.

We have a sacred duty to ourselves, each other, our children, our ancestors, and this Mother Earth, to do this work.

No one else can do it for you. No one else is going to come to “save us”. We are both the cause and solution of all we endure. As you embark on your new path, always remember, first and foremost;

“KNOW THYSELF”.

This simple maxim is actually some of the most challenging work we will do as witches, as women, as human beings. ‘Knowing thyself’ often proves easier said than done. Especially for those of us who grew up in environments where habitually ignoring the Self, stifling our true natures in favor of thoughts and behaviors that allowed us to conform to our cultures, and fit in socially by adhering to the status quo, was part of the daily grind. Many of us grew up routinely denying the parts of ourselves we deemed unworthy of acceptance, by ourselves and by our (rather questionable) social standards.

Yet when you know yourself, you cultivate a relationship with the Divine.

When you are in fluid communication with The All, all things become possible.

Approach this new-found dimension within you with respect and humility. With wonder and a sense of adventure.

Lastly, if you have personally heard/experienced The Calling, welcome and congratulations! You have always been a special part of something so much greater than yourself. Now you are beginning to understand this on a deeper level. And we need you sister (or brother), we need you exactly as you are.

The path before you is one of the most enchanting, inspiring, and rewarding roads you can walk. At times the Path becomes overgrown, tangled, or rife with obstacles. But you will find within yourself the inability to turn back, and the deep desire to always push forward, to discover what’s around the next bend.

If you are newly called to the Witches journey, or if you have been on this path for many seasons now, you can strengthen your foundation and create a solid framework with which to work your magic by learning some of the most fundamental aspects of the Craft.

There are many wonderful books out there to start you on your quest. Read them all. Every author has had a different experience, offers different insights, and gems of advice in different areas of expertise. This will diversify and strengthen your own understanding of witchcraft.

You can now read my own book, ‘The New Witches’ Handbook‘, for free with Kindle unlimited!

From one book worm to another, never forget to apply what you read in your own life.

Test it. See for yourself if what you read ‘works’ and rings true for you.

If what you study has no applicable expression in your life, what’s the point ?

 

Much Love- Sara

 

 

 

Why I Feared Being an Author

It was a fear of vulnerability that has kept me from getting serious about publishing my work. A fear of knowingly opening up the one skill I have never doubted in myself to criticism and abject rejection time and time again.  And even more than that, it was the fear of being seen. A good writer ends up leaving her soul exposed within her works, and for me, this has been a scary thing, even if the fear was dwelling mostly in my subconscious. When I was able to acknowledge it and trace it back to its source, I realized it was somewhat justified. I am a woman. I am a brown woman. I am a brown, woman, witch. Historically, things have not gone well for individuals falling into any one of those categories.

The collective ancestral memories of abuse, persecution, and violence, and the present day injustices unfolding all around us— against women, indigenous peoples, and ‘witches’, (not to mention the great Earth Mother and all her non-human inhabitants), still reverberates in my bones and is carried in my womb.

I feel it.

The hurts and betrayals I have received in this life-time, (which are simply a part of the human experience and serve to show us where our healing in most needed), often seem to reinforce the suffering that gets lodged within our psyches and bodies and, if left unacknowledged festers and manifests as injury or disease.

Or fear of change. Fear of movement and growth. Of evolution and true progress.

It becomes visible in the world around us; in the way we treat our neighbors, our earth, the wild nature that sustains us in every way. We can see clearly now the Earth is crying out. Not in distress. But in warning.

When we fail to recognize the connection between all things (physical and otherwise) in existence, when we fail to honor the rhythms of nature and fail to live in harmony with the Universal Laws….we invite suffering.

The Earth does not need us to survive.

We need Her.

Nature will always find a way to restore balance, whether with ice age, drought, raging infernos, floods, or devastating plagues and cancers.

The natural environment is a reflection of how we as human beings treat each other, our Selves, our own sacred bodies.

Some scholars believe that the our relationship to Nature is representative of our relationship to the feminine. Think about that.

And yet, what is cataclysmic to us is akin to the Great Mother shaking off a bothersome cold. Destroying the irritating entities which are making her ill.

Those who have ignored the messages, the warnings, and continue to turn a blind eye to that which stares them in the face, will not fare well.

Those who work FOR the Mother, FOR Wilderness and FOR Nature, will find the transitions much more bearable. These are the ones who will allow themselves to be guided by forces that are so much greater and so much wiser than themselves.
How do I know?

I have seen it.

You can believe me or not ;P

Or, better yet, don’t take my word for it, just open your eyes and open your heart. You will see for yourself. You will feel it in your gut.

Those of us who hope to survive and even thrive during the massive shifts and changes that are now in motion must learn how to harmonize with nature, how to heal, how to build strong, healthy, tight-knit, diverse communities, and how to assist in evolution rather than work against it. We must learn to do so NOW. Not tomorrow. Not the day after.
We are out of time.

Now we must act.

We must allow ourselves to be vulnerable because this is the only way to heal.

We must heal ourselves first if we ever hope to heal the world.

If we do not do this work, we are essentially contributing to warfare and environmental destruction.

There is no one else to blame for our sufferings but the person who stares back at us in the mirror.

Our efforts to restore balance must be holistic, in that they are whole. The healing must go deep, down into the most mysterious, most sensitive, tender areas of our being. And yeah, often, this healing hurts.

But it doesn’t kill you. It is a season, a cycle. Like a raging storms that seems it will never end, but always does. It makes you stronger. It changes you from the inside out.

We cannot be spiritual, mystic, healers and wise-women, if our craft is superficial, and practiced for pretty aesthetics social status. We cannot claim to serve the Great Spirit if our path was found via social pressures as opposed to calls from the heart. And we cannot, cannot value comfort more than change.

This may seem extreme to some, but I have a feeling that if you find yourself reading this blog it is because you understand, at least on some level, the power- be it constructive or destructive- behind every one of our everyday thoughts and actions.

The energy we create with what our minds dwell on.

The powers we fund when we buy our groceries or purchase our clothing.

What we give up by trading true sovereignty for the illusion of security….

There was a time, not long ago, when speaking of such things would get you killed. These memories are fresh in our Soul, directly behind us in our lineage, and even if we were not taught about the history (herstory),  of this oppression, censorship, and violence against those who spoke for all of Nature and all of humanity, we feel it.

“Remember”, it whisperers. “Remember what happened to those who were too loud, too rebellious, too troublesome, too threatening, to the powers that be.”

I hear these ancient warnings, given with love and concern.

And I remember those who knew the risks, and acted anyways. Because to follow any voice other than the one which comes from your own heart is to live a lie and a half-life.

We have a duty to do the work our souls know we were sent here to do.

That work is different for everyone, but writing, challenging the status quo, and working to restore the balance between Masculine & Feminine, and Human Being & Divine Wilderness…happen to be a part of mine.

Much of the work is personal. It involves self reflection, shadow work, and work within my intimate family and circle of friends. But I realize now that to keep the journey to myself, no not share what my particular path and perspective has observed and discovered along the way, is an affront to the energies that inspire and guide me. No one is an island. We are all in this together.

These are some of the sentiments that fuel my work, and make me both proud and a bit afraid.

I always do my best to check my ego at the door and to steer clear of fear based decisions.

You can check out my first book, “The New Witches’ Handbook”, now available on Kindle and print, by clicking here.

As small as a thing it may seem from the outside, it’s publication actually feels like an act of courage, a leap of faith, a form of rebellion, and a cry of victory rolled into one.

I think of all those who came before. Especially the Mothers. Whose stories are carried in my blood and dreams. What they endured.

And what they accomplished….Life. And HERstory, May I always do it justice.

Our ancestors endured the fall of the Goddess so that we could experience the Rise. That is why we are here.

I hope the words I offer up do honor to our ancestors, blessings to the next generation, and harmony to those who are now finding the courage to forge their own paths, together.

Much Love- Sara

What I am NOT Willing to Sacrifice as a Female Business Owner….

Photo by Pixabay

There is no doubt about it; running your own business, being an artist, creator, or your own boss, takes an enormous amount of work, and yes it takes sacrifice. 

Sacrifice means giving up something you want to keep in order to make room for doing or receiving something else.

So much of our lives revolve around sacrifice, which, when approached correctly, is actually a very beneficial, (and yes, potentially even enjoyable), practice that incites self-reflection and change.

Try as we might, the hard truth is, we can’t do it all. We simply can’t be everything to everyone, and fill every role we see in need of a leading lady.

Sacrifice.

Which path do you choose, when you can’t see where any end, and you know there is no turning back once you embark upon your choice.

Choose wisely.

What things in your life, right now, are you willing to give up in order to grow? In order to allow more abundance into your life?

As a woman, who as a girl child was put through the extremely structured public school system from the time she was 4 years old until graduating college, at age 21, I abhor any kind of schedule and rigid structure in my life.

While no one on the outside would have likely been able to see it, and my schooling career left it’s fair share of wonderful memories, especially in the younger, grade-school years…but the truth is, as time went on, the overall theme of my educational institutions became one of competition, judgment, and never-ending stress.

It left a sour taste in my mouth and I now shudder at anything that triggers that feeling of desperate inadequacy and having to scramble to live according to another persons schedule, standards, and way of being…with no sense of self, because I had not really been given the room within my educational or job opportunities, to explore and get to know who I really was and my place in the world as I matured.

As a result, anything that comes remotely close to encroaching on my consciously created freedom and day-to-day life is rather quickly dealt with, by that primal, untamable, high on life, inner wild woman.

The ability to be in control of my time, and how I choose to spend my day, is honestly something I am still getting used to, and up until now I have been unwilling to sacrifice an ounce of this new   found freedom. (Which is kind of an oxymoron of a statement since I, at other times, feel that as a  stay-at-home mother, I have extremely limited personal freedom and my daily schedule is at the mercy of the human beings I brought into the world! I think the difference is that I still choose them every day. I chose to have babies. I chose to be a Mother, and I choose to let them rule my life, I surrender myself to their demands willingly lol).  

However, I am beginning to see that there is a sacrifice I must be willing to make in order to be successful as a business owner.

If I truly want to help other people, and I do, (deep down, don’t we all?), I must be there for them. Consistently. Dependably. ‘

This means regularly taking time out of my day, away from my family and personal interests, to ask,

“How can I serve?”,

and doing so with an open heart. Ultimately, this means giving up a portion of my day, on a regular basis, to be there for others outside my immediate circle, something I have very much resisted in the past but realize now it is a sacrifice I truly want to be making.

Because there is another sacrifice I do NOT wish to make, one I think many of us make without being aware we are doing so before it’s too late;

Being with our children. Truly BEING with our children.

Not because they deserve our full presence and awareness, (and they do!), not because they need us and depend on us and model their beliefs and behaviors after our own, but because we  as parents need to understand how much we need them.  How much we owe it to ourselves to recognize the gifts we have been given in the innocence of our children. How blessed we are to have been given the teachers we need most in the tiny humans who call us ‘Mama’.

There is a magic, a wisdom there, in the pure state of childlike wonder, which they contain for everything, as it should be, that we need desperately as westernized adults.

There is a true and unconditional love there, a truth about the interconnectedness of all things in existence, that our children show us, and teach us about, if we are able to slow down and take the time to listen, and have the courage to feel.

These moments with my daughters, of playing and laughing, teaching and encouraging, snuggling and exploring….once they are gone they’re gone. There is only one way to preserve them;

To pay attention.

Pay attention to every little detail so that you can reexamine it later. Be present and observe with all of your senses so you can savor it and draw power from it, love, and joy from the memory, whenever and wherever you choose.

 

How does it make you feel when you are able to set work aside and crawl on your hands and knees through the garden, pretending to be wolves, with your young ones?

How does it make you feel when you keep blowing them off and interrupting them because you have something else on your mind, or because you really need to get some work done?

Pay attention.

I am willing to sacrifice some of my “personal time” to grow my business. I am willing to sacrifice the frivolous enjoyment of a well deserved beer and Netflix for the less glamorous work that goes on behind the scenes in the life of an indie author and Network marketer. (Clearly, I enjoy a good challenge and dash of the adventurous unknown ;p) .

I am NOT willing to sacrifice being present and relaxed with my children for any career or amount of money in the world.

Nothing is worth that sacrifice to me and there are so many arguments I have as to why, but I will not get into them because I feel most are pretty obvious if you just take the time to ask your heart and have the patience to wait for (and hear) the reply.

And so, I would much rather sacrifice some of my “personal time” to regularly showing up for my chosen community. It is through this work, that I also serve my children, and thank them for the magic they have shown me and the lessons they have taught me by doing my part to actively participate in the creation of a community I would be proud to pass on to them and confident to leave them within.

What this means is that growth is likely to be slower, yet more sustainable. Many businesses, especially in the beginning, require an abhorrent amount of time and attention every of the week in order to flourish. If you want success, you MUST make those early sacrifices. There is no way around it. You WILL loose sleep. Your spouse and kids WILL wonder when you went completely insane. You WILL want to rip your hair out and never know the meaning of the term “weekend” ever. again. Thats just the way it is.

Or so we have been told.

I am willing to make sacrifices, but I am unwilling to sacrifice the time spent with my daughters in order to do so. I am not willing to sacrifice my ability to stay present with them each and every day. For each and every day is a miracle, a gift, and I am well aware of how limited our time together really is.

Even a day spent preoccupied about this and that, (ultimately insignificant), business detail, is one day to many, and while it still occurs from time to time, I always mourn it’s loss.

For myself, I have discovered that I would much rather be able to devote a small amount of focused time and energy everyday into something, to have patience, to little by little watch it grow.

I am not willing to devote “a few short years” of “hustle”, running myself ragged, being detached from my kids and husband while I obsess over my business. No. Not I.

I already have the life of my dreams. I have a safe home, a loving, handsome husband, healthy happy children, and my own miraculous womans’ body that’s alive and full of sensuality and feeling.

I love my mind, (flawed and rebellious as it is) and the voice within my heart (which never steers me wrong).

I love the souls of the People (human and otherwise), I interact with on a daily basis.
When it comes to business, running my own successfully is simply a bonus. Icing on the cake.

Yeah, I want more money because more money equals more time with my man and obviously….more books, plants, and horses. I want to have my own business because I feel that I have an important service and message to share with the world and don’t see a damn thing wrong with being supported financially for doing what brings me joy and makes my spirit soar. But a business, no matter how genius or successful it is, (or even if it were to crash and burn), will never define me.

It will never take priority over my sense of connection with nature, and with my family. I will never sacrifice those simple, yet so incredibly full, moments of doing nothing but watching my daughters run and laugh together on the bare crust of the earth.

These are the moments worth living for, the moments that make me feel the most alive, the most connected and in the flow. And I will not be sacrificing them for anything in the world. Ever.

What about you. What are the hardest sacrifices you’ve had to make as business owning, mindful mothers, and what has and hasn’t been worth it for you?

Please share your own experiences in the comments!

Much Love- Sara

Moon Magic 101

Photo by luizclas

The moon is widely considered the most important heavenly body to women the world over. As the closest astrological body to our own planet, she affects the tides of our lakes and oceans, and influences plant growth, animal behavior, and our own sacred bodies and emotions. Her silvery-bright feminine energy rules over the life giving fluids within us, such as the cardiovascular system and our menstrual cycles. Like women, the moon is cyclical, and mirrors the stages of our lives; Maiden, Mother, & Crone. She inspires, guides, and illuminates. She is a mysterious and powerful shapeshifter.

As the moon travels across the sky she moves along a wheel which passes through each astrological sign. When the moon is residing within a particular sign, (I.E. “Moon in Aries”), she will be influenced by that signs magical attributes. Similarly, the energy surrounding her will change as she waxes and wanes, and certain phases of the moon are better suited for performing magic than others. The highest level of energy occurs at the full moon, which is the most powerful time for performing potent magic.

The New Moon is the second most magical moon phase. Additionally, the waxing and waning phases of the moon each have their own mystical attributes, so it may be wise to plan your magical crafting in accordance. Follow the inherent rhythms of nature. As you expand and grow your craft you will quickly come to understand that there is a natural time for starting things (planting), for maturing things (growing), and for reaping things (harvesting). Times of rest and planning are also crucial to overall well being and health. Above all follow your intuition and do what feels right when dealing with magic of any kind. Work in light, love, and harm none.

(*Hint: Remember that the moon is always present in the heavens, and that a moonrise can even occur during daylight. You do not need to restrict your self to the night time for working moon magic, although, for obvious reasons, night time magic holds its own special power.)

MOON PHASES

Full Moon Magic- The most powerful time for working moon magic, it is the perfect time for spells involving protection, prophecy, or anything that requires extra power, such as healing from a serious injury or finding a new home. Also great for rituals involving love or money. Many witches like to take this opportunity to “Draw Down the Moon”, (See below). Associated with ‘The Mother’ archetype.

New Moon Magic-  Also known as the “Dark Moon’, this is a very powerful time for working magic, especially when it comes to rituals of rest and rejuvenation. Spells that cleanse and purify the body and the mind, promote inner harmony and peace, and which designate a sacred space, are all extremely effective when worked under a new moon. New moon magic can be done from the day of thee new moon to three and a half days after. Excellent phase for meditation. Associated with ‘The Triple Goddess’ archetype.

Waxing Crescent Magic- The waxing crescent moon occurs from seven to fourteen days after the new moon. It is the period of time when the moon is growing, from darkness to an ever expanding luminous silver crescent. This phase of the moon is associated with constructive, or positive magic. Spells which draw things to you, or increase things, flourish under the waxing crescent. Perform rituals concerning fertility, growth, healing, and new beginnings. This is also  the best time to plant seeds or new plants. Associated with The Maiden.

Waning Crescent Magic- The waning crescent is the period of time in which the moon moves from full to dark, occurring from three and a half to ten and a half days after the full moon. This is the time to perform magic that deals with the unwanted and eliminations. Use for things you are trying to reduce, such as toxic people in your life or debt. Cast spells for banishing stress, bad habits, and disease. Use this phase to help you achieve smooth endings, such as with a relationship or job. Associated with ‘The Crone’ archetype.

*Hint: A seasoned witch usually always knows the phase of the moon at any given moment, but for those first starting out, it can be tricky to discern a waxing from a waning moon. A trick I learned as a child is to picture a line running down the center of the moon. If the curve of the crescent is bulging to the right , it forms the bow shape of a lower case “b” for “birth”. This means the moon is growing, aka, it is waxing. If the crescent is bulging to the left, it forms the bow shape of a lowercase “d”, for “death”. The moon is shrinking, moving from light to dark, aka, it is waning. Birth, death, and rebirth, the cycle of all that is, so beautifully displayed in the heavens.

How does the moon factor into your life? Does it influence your mothering? Business? Magical workings? What is your favorite phase and why? How are you taking utilizing the energy of the current moon phase? Let me know in the comments!

 

Much Love- Sara

 

Tis the Season…To Break Tradition

When I was younger the holidays held a special kind of magic for me.
Although I was not raised according to any religion or particular belief system, the holidays were for celebrating family. All would come together in the spirit of love and gratitude, and it was a fabulous opportunity for all the cousins to run wild while the adults themselves let loose for awhile. And all this among beautiful decorations, fires, food, drink, and music. There was nothing not to love.

And then, despite my best efforts not to, I grew up.

And even though I promised myself it never would, the magic of the holidays slipped through my fingers like water through cupped hands, and I stopped giving a shit. But it wasn’t just me. It was life.

Cousins grew up, away, apart. Parents divorced. Family members died. Old relationships ended and new ones began. A thousand skins were shed by myself and those around me, but with no infrastructure in place to encourage and nourish change, transformation, death, and new growth, I struggled forward through these growing pains feeling isolated, as I expect many others did.

The older I got, and the more I began to open my eyes to seeking truth for myself, the more I began to recognize the perversion and hypocrisy of the holiday season in my life. (Disclaimer: this is the truth as experienced by ME, in my life, and through my eyes. It is personal, and I mean no disrespect to anyone’s opposing values, beliefs, or traditions, nor will I censor my own opinions.)

I realized I had reached a point where I felt nothing about the holidays. In fact if anything, I had begun viewing them as more of an inconvenience. Time consuming, expensive, phony. A great big pathetic sales pitch to get us to consume more and more and more, all to the tune of a Christmas jingle that starts playing several months too soon, reminding me that before I know it, I will have to be scheduling my time amongst too many divided families— never feeling like I spent enough time with any so that the gap in familiarity between us continues to grow. Feeling pressured to buy and accept gifts from people I don’t even talk to during the rest of the year, hoping the festivities don’t put too much of a financial strain on the beginning of a new year, all while attempting to feel merry and bright and recapturing the holiday joy I felt as a girl.

Bah Humbug. Why did I feel like I was turning into Uncle Scrooge? Then it hit me:

Why, on the Goddesses green earth, was I continuing to practice and celebrate the Christian holiday calendar and traditions, when I am NOT a Christian? I realized that celebrating this way was making me feel ill at ease around myself and family, through no fault of theirs, because I felt as though I was being inauthentic. A hypocrite. My outer lifestyle was not in alignment with my inner truth. Year after year it continued to make me fidgety and uncomfortable.

I’m not saying a witch or pagan can’t enjoy the western holiday system with their families, and enjoy all the same underlying messages of peace, love, and family that are present in many cultures this time of year. I am saying that for me, continuing to practice traditions which no longer held any meaning to the person I had become, just because it is how myself and those around me have always done it, seemed ridiculous.

I wanted to experience the magic of the holidays again, for my children, and myself.

I want this magic to infect those around me, to slow us down, bring us in, and draw us close. And not just at Christmas, but throughout the year. I want to voluntarily spend time in celebration (of life!) with my friends and family as a regular practice, and not feel forced together once or twice every 12 months. So what if the way we do it now looks different from the way I did it as a child? That’s ok. It worked back then. It doesn’t now. No big deal. Change is natural. Evolution is healthy.

Now we follow the Wheel of the Year. My children will grow up celebrating Yule not Christmas, and exchange handmade gifts with their friends and family rather than expensive, meaningless, store bought items. I want us to remember and honor the dead on Samhain, not make mockery of gore and violence while stuffing our faces with toxic junk on Halloween, and mark the witches new year as a new beginning, peacefully letting die what needs to die in order to make room for new growth.

I want for my family and I to live and celebrate by honoring the natural rhythms of Nature and ourselves, feeling the ebb and flow of the seasons in our environments and within our own bodies. THIS is what I believe in. Nature, rhythms, cycles, birth, death, and rebirth. The interconnectedness, diversity, and dynamic divinity, of everything in existence. Of All.

By honoring this, by celebrating this truth, the magic is restored to all holidays throughout the year, because I am manifesting in my environment a representation of the love and joy I feel in the deeper essence of myself and the greater vastness of the universe that you and I are a part of.

We’ve been in the process of restructuring our holidays for a couple of years now, and if I’m totally honest, we’ve still got some kinks to work out. We still go trick-or-treating and my girls say “Halloween” more than they say “Samhain”, ( and we all, especially me, eat too much crappy chocolate after the fact).

We still gather together and feast on Thanksgiving, (though I am clear in explaining to my children why we are gathering; to count our blessings and share abundance with friends & family. I’m leaving our countries historical atrocities out of it until they are a bit older…), and many of the gifts we exchange at Christmas/Yule are indeed store bought, and though we’ve gotten better at supporting local artists and small businesses, Amazon is still always there with all of it’s mega-convenience. We still anticipate a visit from Santa on Christmas Eve and sing our favorite carols. We still celebrate Christmas, AND Yule.

It’s harder than I thought to let go of old traditions, habits, and patterns. There is an easiness that comes with doing what has always been done, what is know. Especially when everyone around us still holds to these newer ways of celebrating the holiday. (I won’t call them the ‘Old Ways’, because they’re NOT).

Luckily, we have a few close friends and family members who support our efforts in making our own holiday rituals and traditions. Traditions based on spiritual earth centered practices that place us in alignment with the flow of nature, as a part of it, and not as a separate entity.

I feel that if we begin, as individuals, to live and act in accordance to our authentic selves, even if it goes against what mainstream culture is pressuring us to be, we will feel more peaceful, centered, and grounded during a notoriously stressful time of year. Not only that, but we will begin to build a tribe, a community, a family of both blood relations and cherished friends,who share similar values and peaceful, healing energy.

This is what I want our holiday celebrations to be about:

Family, friendship, peace, love, gratitude, generosity, health, fun, and magic. The kind of magic you feel when you close your eyes and allow yourself to feel the space that surrounds every cell in your body, recognizing that same space connects you to all that was, all that ever will be, and most importantly, all that IS.

How do you celebrate the holidays? Do you do something a little less “traditional”? I want to hear about it! Especially (but not limited to!) from those who follow a pagan calendar.  Please share your favorite holiday traditions in the comments. I am always looking for new and meaningful practices.

Happy Holidays. Blessed Be.

Much Love- Sara

The Magic of Essential Oils

What if there were a secret potion, that when taken regularly led to confidence, self-love, inner peace & serenity, greater abundance, joy, focus, and creativity? Not only that, telling other people about this magical substance, showing them how it worked and how they could enjoy its benefits for themselves, caused regular, exponential growth to your bank account?

Sounds like something out of a fairy tale doesn’t it?

Well except for it being a secret, the rest is true. (And if we’re likening this story to a fairy-tale, you could say that Young Living is the Fairy Godmother).

Thousands of men, women, and children have experienced, and now vouch for, the healing properties of pure, quality, essential oils.

Thousands of individuals have created thriving businesses that not only give them the financial freedom many of us have only dreamed about, but also allow us to be home with our families, not be bound to a geographical location (for those with a gypsy spirit), have the time + money necessary to pursue our passions, and feel good about the work we do and what we bring to the world.

This is real life.

When you welcome these oils into your world, your entire reality will begin to change. Its like adding natural fertilizer to a garden and watching the flowers burst forth.

Essential oils support the health and balance of every level of our being. They care for us during pregnancy, in childhood, as busy adults, and wise old crones.

My favorite power contained within each tiny glass bottle is the ability to instantly shift a mood or emotion. After all, for most of us, our emotions drive our thoughts in an almost habitual pattern. And our thoughts drive, well—everything.

Imagine having access to something that could easily aid in grounding, soothing, and centering triggered emotional wounds. An all natural, Earth charged substance that together with a few, deep, conscious breaths, could offer almost instantaneous relief?

Interested in learning more?

Subscribe to attend our free weekly webinars all about essential oil basics and, if you are thinking you may want to start a profitable, pleasurable, oil-based business of your own, be sure to catch our weekly Oil Empress Business Academy live class.

How have essential oils factored into your life? When were you introduced to these magical liquids and what was the catalyst?
Do you now use them regularly? For what? What is your personal favorite and if you have never used oils before, what is the one issue you wish they could help you heal?

The great thing about this business is that you never stop learning. You never stop being amazed, or tickled by the progress of science and its support of what mystics have always known.

This is a career and lifestyle which, like the oils themselves, gently, consistently, and effectively changes your faith from a tenuous hope to an inner knowing that miracles happen on the regular.

We simply need to open our arms and expose our hearts to receive.

How to Start a Community Red Tent in 10 Easy Steps

1. Learn what a Red Tent (also referred to as  Moon Lodge in some cultures), is.
2. Let your heart pitter-patter with inspiration and a deep desire to gather with the other women of your community.
3. Choose a date. Try to get it to land on the Full or New moon for the biggest magical punch. If not, something close to these monthly milestones works beautifully.
4. Choose a venue. Your house, a friends house, dance studio, even a park or beach becomes a sacred space when women gather. Obviously, the more intimate the area the better, as it encourages openness and vulnerability, some of our greatest strengths as women.
5. Make invitations. This can be flyers to hang around town, leave in coffee shops, yoga studios, salons, etc. It can be a text message you send to all the women you know, a Facebook update or invite, or a graphic image you post on your tumblr or instagram. Get those invites out!
6. Prepare your space. Use the color red, the color of love, blood, fire, and passion, to decorate and set the mood. Red flowers, cushions, blankets, streamers, candles, and stones, all serve to designate our women sanctuary.
7. Eat and drink red. Encourage participants to bring a dish or drink to share. Cherries, apples, strawberries, watermelon and pomegranates. Red chili, salsa, velvet cupcakes, cinnamon candies, red wine, and cranberry juice. These are offerings to your Moon-time, to your womanhood, your lifeblood.
8. Decorate yourself. Wear red red RED. Satin, silk, cotton, velvet. Try to adorn your body with natural dyes and materials. Wear red flowers and ribbons in your hair. Rubies, garnets, and sunstones on your fingers, neck, and ears. The reddest lipstick you own. Red scarves around your head or hips. Encourage others to do the same. Your body is a temple. It is a divinely crafted work of art. Adorn it as such.
9. Hold Space & Listen. Circle up. Begin with smudging to clear out any stale or negative energies which may have followed us into our sanctuary. Pass around some favorite oils to inhale before participants close there eyes and take a few moments to sink into full presence with one another. Pass around a talking stick or special crystal to share stories. Take time to share thanks and gratitude. Don’t be to rigid or dominating as hostess. Your job is to create the space, bring women together, and then listen listen and listen some more. Let the participants lead the group to where it needs to be. Don’t forget to share your own stories as well. Honest, authentic, vulnerability serves to create great trust and powerful intimate bonds that are not easily broken.
10. Do what feels right. Then do it again. Dance. Sing. Meditate. Cry. Laugh. Drink. Chant. Howl. Craft. Create. Ask for feedback. Close with a final circle of gratitude. Ground our feminine power. Hug each other, thank each other, and set a date for the following month! Carry the magic with you as you move back into your daily routine. Know your sisters are always with you, that our struggles and victories are communal, no matter how different the surrounding details initially appear, we share the same essence, the same core desires, the same divinity and wish to know unconditional love, inside and out. All is one.

Women can and will change the world for the better. It starts with You. Me. We.

Please share your favorite tips and Red Tent experiences in the comments below and be sure to share this with your sisters!

Much Love- Sara